tomorrow

Lately I’ve found myself wondering –worrying even– what the coming semester holds. I’m starving for fellowship and community. Perhaps it’s just the innate fear of change that all humans are plagued with on one level or another but I can’t help but wonder if the next semester/season of my life will be as fulfilling as the last? They say “you don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone,” but at the same time we don’t know what we’re missing until we experience something better. I have nothing but fond memories of the last season of my life (16 months or so) and my physical intellect is saying, “Don’t let that go! Hold on to it for dear life!” but my spirit is saying, “Are you going to trust Him on this one??” We can’t reach for something better if we are clinging to something else.

“God, help me to not worry about tomorrow. Give me grace enough for today.”

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” -Proverbs 27:1

“Tomorrow will be like today, or even far better.” -Isaiah 56:12 (taken out of context)

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” -Matthew 6:34

“You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” -James 4:14

couldn't say it better myself

"Table for Two"
by Caedmon's Call

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
Talkin' 'bout soccer
And how every man's just the same
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain

And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By looking around
But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay
I'm given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
But it's not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.

A Year in [P]review

Beginning in late October of 2005 I began considering goals and things-to-do in the upcoming year. Both professionally and spiritually I want it to be a year of unprecedented growth. Looking back on my life so far, the seasons that have been the most rewarding have also been the hardest. The times when we are challenged the most seem to be the time we grow the most. Realizing this, my prayer for ’06 is that God would stretch me, challenge me, break me, and do whatever it takes for Him to carry me farther in this one year than He has any year before. I am praying for a challenge, but not for difficulty’s sake; all I ask is that God would build me up, teach me, and strengthen me. He has my permission to take whatever measures necessary to make that happen.

Here we are, four days into the new year, and I can say without a doubt that it's been a challenge already. Hardest days of my life?? Not by a longshot, but enough to make me pause and ponder. If you ever have any doubt that God answers prayer, ask him to stretch you.

on resolutions

Let me make one thing clear: this is not a New Years resolution. I am not blogging because the calendar has been reset. There have been some fascinating thoughts running through my head lately and I want to keep track of them. I usually just peck out my thoughts in a Word file, but some recent thoughts haven't been "Word file worthy," in terms of length or depth, ya know? Rather, these thoughts are shallow and appropriate for just the likes of someone like you. "I'd like to thank all the little people who make this blog possible..."
Moving on. ...No, backing up actually. My reason for not liking New Years resolutions: when I find something in my life that I wish I did differently I don't need to wait for my calendar to read an even 1-01 (never mind the fact that those are odd numbers). On my wall hangs one of those pictures with an inspirational caption that reads:

DO IT NOW
Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, no time out. Sometimes...it's now or never.

It sounds great, but what good is a piece of advice if you do nothing with it? My approach to resolutions is just that -do it now. Some people say they need the discipline of a new year. I have to wonder though, doesn't it require more discipline to do it now??